Is your relationship in a rut?
Once upon a time, you and your partner were crazy in love with each other. But unfortunately, life went on, and the intense feeling has passed. Being stuck in a rut is an idea we’re all familiar with.
When your relationship goes through a rough time, it can become hard to tell whether it’s just a temporary phase or if it’s time for a breakup. It’s not that you don’t love each other or care for each other anymore. Of course, you still do that. It’s more like the crazy, can’t-get-enough portion of the love affair seems to be coming to a close. Although every person has their own breaking points, there are some differences between a relationship rut and the end of a relationship.
Just because going on gets tough doesn’t always meant it’s time to move on, but if your dating trouble doesn’t seem to improve, it may signify the end is near. Maybe you’re fighting a lot, or maybe you’re not fighting at all. Whatever the case may be, you still know something is not right. Remember, being in a rut doesn’t have to mean your relationship is in big trouble. As long as both you and your partner want to make things work, there’s every chance you can find a way to start moving things in the right direction again.
Just a Rut – You’re feelings bored: If you are feeling bored in a relationship, it is likely just a rut. We all love shiny and new and that’s a universal fact. When we are in a relationship for a long time, some of the shine starts to look dull. It’s not because our partner has lost their shine, but because the time we become habituated to our partners’ love, and we begin to take it for granted. A quick reality check can help restore some of the boredom, and keeping things spicy and interesting can go a long way in keeping your relationship rut-free.
Just a Rut – You’d rather cuddle with the dog: When you’re deep in a rut, fuzzy animals are your dopamine delivery drives of choice. Your partner? Not so much. One second they’re holding you too tight, the next all you can feel is their elbow digging into your side. If maximum comfort is your main goal, there is no way it’s being achieved.
Just a Rut – lack of meaningful communication: If you are running out of a meaningful communication, it is likely just a rut. We all have a phase in a relationship where we skip to communicate and focus on routine life. A small vacation or alone quality time can help to get back those healthy communications in a relationship. At the end of the day, the key to working on your relationship is nothing more than a healthy communication.
Just a Rut – Honesty is still there: When in a rut, you generally respect and care for your partner and do not wish to hurt them. In a rut, you still try your best to be honest with your partner but if honesty has begun to erode, this could be a sign that your relationship is near its end.
Just a Rut – You both are still willing to work on things: When you’re going through a rough time, you’re more likely want to figure out ways to resolve your problems. If the relationship is coming to a close, there is a loss of a desire to work on your issues.
Just a Rut – You’re willing to accept you’re in a relationship rut: You start thinking this is how it’ll always be, so why bother dealing with it? You’ve forgotten what it was like to have that relationship high, so you no longer strive to get it back. Don’t let this rut win. Your relationship deserves a shot, take a break and go on a road trip or see some live music. Cook a special meal and get into the idea of surprising your partner. The more unexpected things you do together, the more you’ll have to talk about, and the more you’ll remember why you fell for them in the first place.
The end of the relationship – You’re staying together out of fear of being alone: Honesty about why you want to stay in the relationship might reveal how likely it is that this relationship will work. If ideas about fears of being alone, or worry about how others will feel, or how the break up might appear is the main narrative, you are likely staying in the relationship for the bad reasons.
The end of the relationship – You’re feeling contempt for your partner: Feelings of contempt toward your partner likely means the relationship should come to a close. When you loathe not love, this is a huge predictor that the end is near.
The end of the relationship – You’re imagining being single: When a relationship is ready to be over, you might find yourself imagining living alone. Sometimes in a rut, people can fantasize about the greener grass somewhere else, but when your ‘we’ thinking point converts into ‘me’, there is an end of the relationship. At the end of the day, the difference between a rut and the end of your relationship comes down to one and only thing: will. It’s all matter of will.
Do you want to work on yourself in a way that would be satisfying to your partner?
When the going gets tough, it can be hard to tell whether you’re just experiencing a bug in the road or if the relationship is doomed. If you want this to be a rut that you can work your way out of, it really can be just that if you put in the effort to make a change. But if you don’t want to put in the work to make things better, you could be looking at the end of your relationship.
Thinking bigger picture and really digging into your specific problems can help shed some light on the future of your relationship. Is your relationship stuck in a Rut?
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